Losing someone or something is a very painful feeling especially when the person was someone you loved so dearly. Whenever one loses someone or something, it creates a blank space in the life of the person. Sometimes we try to fill this space by doing things that can hurt us like eating unnecessarily, working tirelessly, drinking excessively or partying too much. We believe that once we occupy ourselves, we would not remember the blank space but not remembering something doesn't mean it is not there. I could try to forget that my father walked out from us by drinking alcohol or even taking hard drugs but it would not remove the fact that he actually walked out of the home. You might have lost someone so dear to you that you feel you can't do without the person and you feel like dying...... You know some people think suicide is the next option when they lose someone or something very dear to them but is that really the answer? That is a coward and ugly way to handle losing someone or something.
I can't promise you that you would be able to fill the vacuum without any lacuna in it but I can tell you that there's a way to fill the vacuum to an extent that you won't feel like going for unhealthy things.
1. Acknowledge your Pain : Don't try to hide your pain, acknowledge the fact that you lost someone or something. Don't try to be happy when you are very sad, don't try to smile when you feel like your heart is on fire. Acknowledge the fact that you are pained. As simple as this sounds, it is very hard to do because most times, we don't want anyone to know about our pain or anyone to talk to us about it so we act like all is well on the outside when we are crying within.
2. Try to Remember: Remember what or who you have lost, don't deceive yourself by trying to forget because trust me, you can't. Remember all you can about the person or thing, you lost your job and you want to do is forget you had that job but I'm telling you that it is not going to help you. Remember the good times in the job and the bad times in the job. You lost your daughter, remember the good times you spent together and the not so good times you spent together. Remember!
3. Cry! Talk!: Don't try to be happy when you are sad. Being sad doesn't mean you are weak, it only means you are strong enough to know when to do what's right. You are Human so you could do what humans do. Cry when you want to, you could go to the bathroom and shed some tears, you could sit in your office, lock the door and cry. Yes! I lost my Dear one and I need to cry it out. Crying is not just the only help, Talk too! Talk about what or who you've lost, talk about that best friend you lost or that dear baby you lost... Talk! When you say it out, you're welcoming the fact that he or she is no more and you miss the person but you have to be strong to stay without the person.
4. Refuse the Guilt! : stop blaming yourself because you can't change what has happened. Stop regretting the times you didn't spend with the person you lost and start thinking of the times you spent together. Stop blaming yourself, guilt doesn't help anyone. Just accept the fact that what has happened has happened for a whole lot of reasons. For example, a woman lost her son due to a fire accident, she started blaming herself for buying gas, fire lighter and other things. Well, she could blame the gas company for selling gas or the person who discovered it for discovering it because if we want to blame someone then it would be an endless list. It wasn't your fault! It happened! Life happens!
5. Do what you love Best : it could be writing, watching a movie, eating a favourite food, cooking or anything. Just do what you love doing. Don't try to stop doing something because you feel guilty or something, do what you love doing best. It helps to ease the pain.
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