DEALING WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM
DEALING WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM : SELF APPRECIATION
What is self esteem?
How do I know I have a low self esteem?
I have a low self esteem, what next?
I believe this short story would explain everything you need to know about your self esteem.
Throughout the party, I kept on staring at the mirror looking at how inferior I looked compared to my friends and the other guests. I had organized the party yet I felt like a servant in the party. I took off my clothes and changed to a casual wear, my friend entered the room and was surprised to see me wearing something else. I had to make up something to tell her, I told her the woman who was supposed to bring the cake could not locate the house and I had to go and bring her. She wanted to say something but I cut her short by telling her how beautiful she looked in her dress. I went to pick up the woman with the cake. Though the woman actually had issues in locating the house, It wasn't my job to pick her up, I could have just sent someone. When I got back, I joined the people in the kitchen, other guests who were close to I and my best friend asked me to leave the kitchen and join the party but I just promised them that I would be there in a minute. My friend requested that I say something about her, I rushed to the parlour where the party was taken place holding a tray in my hand. I could see the disappointment in her face but I didn't care. I spoke as I served the meal and left immediately. I went to my room and sobbed quietly, she was the one who had the spotlight, the love and care. I was just a nobody. After the party, I escorted the guests to their cars and bid then goodbye. I went back upstairs and I saw my bestie holding my dress, "you told me you loved it" she said, "I... I do... I actually do" I told her as I stammered, "why are you lying to me? You obviously hated the dress" she said, I could see how sad she was from the look on her face, "it's your day, you're supposed to be happy" I said feeling guilty, "my day?.... It was supposed to be our day! You were supposed to be there for me, with me and by my side. What happened?" she asked angrily, "I... ", "you gave me a great party but I don't know why you didn't show up", I felt a surge of anger run through my inner body, "I showed up!!!! I showed up!!! I wore the dress and was in the passage when someone commented, she said and I quote 'oh, your dress is beautiful but don't you think wearing something short is not for your type'.... I ran into the room and accessed myself in the mirror, she was right. I am not like you Bestie, you have a great shape, good friends, beautiful family and all. All I have is family, all my friends are only my friends because they feel I can help them, nobody wants to give me a second look except it is to scorn me. Don't you dare say I didn't show up because I have always been there for you" She cried bitterly.
The case of the writer in the short story is not new to us. We try to ignore it like its not there but it is right there and unless you deal with it, your happiness can never be complete. This feeling has caused a lot of havoc to different people like depression, hyperactivity, drug abuse, suicide and others. What is this feeling? It is feeling less to others, feeling like you're not complete or you lack something that makes you worse than others. I do not know if you are experiencing or have experienced it before but you should never deceive yourself. Dealing with low self esteem requires a lot of determination, and the first going is to appreciate yourself.
FIVE NUGGETS FOR SELF APPRECIATION
The first thing is to ACKNOWLEDGE.
ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that you feel that way either sometimes, on rare occasions or it might be everytime. A person who lives in denial would not grow. It does not make you any less than you are, you are still the same person you have always been. Though, the opinion of some people might change about you because of what they have heard. That should not change you, people would always take you up and bring you down too. You have to make sacrifices choice to love yourself, acknowledge how you feel about yourself.
BELIEVE in YOU, if you don't believe in yourself then don't expect anyone to believe in you. It starts with you. You have to believe in yourself, your shape, ability, look, talent and whatever you have. You are special, very special, there's something in you that the world needs. So stop belittling what you are capable of doing and start believing in YOU.
CLOSE YOUR EARS, sometimes you have to close your ears to some negative comments about you. Do not let anyone make you believe you are less than who you are supposed to be. Whatsoever is derogatory, close your ears to such. You can not stop people from saying negative things about you but you can stop listening to their words. Don't let the words of others be your foundation. It's not easy, I would not lie to you by saying it is easy because it is not. You have to make up your mind to close your ears.
DEFEND YOURSELF, though you need to close your ears to the negative comments by people, you also have to defend yourself. Sometimes when someone says something like, 'you're not good enough' you should look straight into the eyes of the person and say, 'you can never be as good as I am'. You don't have to hate the person or despise the person, you just have to make the person understand that you appreciate who you are.
EMBRACE YOURSELF, to embrace means to love, cherish and cling to. Embrace yourself, love yourself, cherish yourself.....
Conclusion
This article is not advising you to block your ears from listening to correction from people, it is telling you to appreciate yourself. YYOU are who YOU make YOURSELF to be .
What is self esteem?
How do I know I have a low self esteem?
I have a low self esteem, what next?
I believe this short story would explain everything you need to know about your self esteem.
Throughout the party, I kept on staring at the mirror looking at how inferior I looked compared to my friends and the other guests. I had organized the party yet I felt like a servant in the party. I took off my clothes and changed to a casual wear, my friend entered the room and was surprised to see me wearing something else. I had to make up something to tell her, I told her the woman who was supposed to bring the cake could not locate the house and I had to go and bring her. She wanted to say something but I cut her short by telling her how beautiful she looked in her dress. I went to pick up the woman with the cake. Though the woman actually had issues in locating the house, It wasn't my job to pick her up, I could have just sent someone. When I got back, I joined the people in the kitchen, other guests who were close to I and my best friend asked me to leave the kitchen and join the party but I just promised them that I would be there in a minute. My friend requested that I say something about her, I rushed to the parlour where the party was taken place holding a tray in my hand. I could see the disappointment in her face but I didn't care. I spoke as I served the meal and left immediately. I went to my room and sobbed quietly, she was the one who had the spotlight, the love and care. I was just a nobody. After the party, I escorted the guests to their cars and bid then goodbye. I went back upstairs and I saw my bestie holding my dress, "you told me you loved it" she said, "I... I do... I actually do" I told her as I stammered, "why are you lying to me? You obviously hated the dress" she said, I could see how sad she was from the look on her face, "it's your day, you're supposed to be happy" I said feeling guilty, "my day?.... It was supposed to be our day! You were supposed to be there for me, with me and by my side. What happened?" she asked angrily, "I... ", "you gave me a great party but I don't know why you didn't show up", I felt a surge of anger run through my inner body, "I showed up!!!! I showed up!!! I wore the dress and was in the passage when someone commented, she said and I quote 'oh, your dress is beautiful but don't you think wearing something short is not for your type'.... I ran into the room and accessed myself in the mirror, she was right. I am not like you Bestie, you have a great shape, good friends, beautiful family and all. All I have is family, all my friends are only my friends because they feel I can help them, nobody wants to give me a second look except it is to scorn me. Don't you dare say I didn't show up because I have always been there for you" She cried bitterly.
The case of the writer in the short story is not new to us. We try to ignore it like its not there but it is right there and unless you deal with it, your happiness can never be complete. This feeling has caused a lot of havoc to different people like depression, hyperactivity, drug abuse, suicide and others. What is this feeling? It is feeling less to others, feeling like you're not complete or you lack something that makes you worse than others. I do not know if you are experiencing or have experienced it before but you should never deceive yourself. Dealing with low self esteem requires a lot of determination, and the first going is to appreciate yourself.
FIVE NUGGETS FOR SELF APPRECIATION
The first thing is to ACKNOWLEDGE.
ACKNOWLEDGE the fact that you feel that way either sometimes, on rare occasions or it might be everytime. A person who lives in denial would not grow. It does not make you any less than you are, you are still the same person you have always been. Though, the opinion of some people might change about you because of what they have heard. That should not change you, people would always take you up and bring you down too. You have to make sacrifices choice to love yourself, acknowledge how you feel about yourself.
BELIEVE in YOU, if you don't believe in yourself then don't expect anyone to believe in you. It starts with you. You have to believe in yourself, your shape, ability, look, talent and whatever you have. You are special, very special, there's something in you that the world needs. So stop belittling what you are capable of doing and start believing in YOU.
CLOSE YOUR EARS, sometimes you have to close your ears to some negative comments about you. Do not let anyone make you believe you are less than who you are supposed to be. Whatsoever is derogatory, close your ears to such. You can not stop people from saying negative things about you but you can stop listening to their words. Don't let the words of others be your foundation. It's not easy, I would not lie to you by saying it is easy because it is not. You have to make up your mind to close your ears.
DEFEND YOURSELF, though you need to close your ears to the negative comments by people, you also have to defend yourself. Sometimes when someone says something like, 'you're not good enough' you should look straight into the eyes of the person and say, 'you can never be as good as I am'. You don't have to hate the person or despise the person, you just have to make the person understand that you appreciate who you are.
EMBRACE YOURSELF, to embrace means to love, cherish and cling to. Embrace yourself, love yourself, cherish yourself.....
Conclusion
This article is not advising you to block your ears from listening to correction from people, it is telling you to appreciate yourself. YYOU are who YOU make YOURSELF to be .
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